


The Truth is a Nuisance

by melodytran



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: China and East Asia-centric, Familial Relationships, Friendship, Gen, Historical References, News Media, Politics, Social Media, Sort of a media fic, Texting, kinda plotless, lots of twitter and tumblr stuff, nations revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 22:57:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5946442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodytran/pseuds/melodytran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The truth about the existence of nation personifications has been revealed, and the countries are left to deal with the aftermath. China, in particular, is not amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unrest

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into English available: [Досадная правда](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13438962) by [hew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hew/pseuds/hew)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No pairings, and VERY East Asia-centered (a couple pairings may be inferred but it will be very subtle. Like, you don't even have to blink to miss it)

**CNN Breaking News** (cnnbrk)

NEW: Personifications of Countries real and kept secret for centuries, leaked information from government reveals

 **Fox News** (FoxNews)

Latest controversy: Personifications of nation-states revealed to the public. Find out more on Fox News at 8pm!

* * *

China decided that if he found out whoever was responsible for revealing the existence of nation personifications, he would murder them. It wasn't like he hadn't done worse things in the past. Besides, who would enjoy going out for a walk and being mobbed by angry citizens and reporters alike? While it did give him a new sense of respect for celebrities, it certainly wasn't necessary.

Once he managed to get back inside and make sure his home was secure, the first thing he did was call his siblings. Even if Taiwan and Hong Kong were brats and Macau was Macau, he needed to know if they were safe or not. He made them swear up and down that they were fine before he hung up to contact his other siblings.

South Korea picked up the phone after the second ring. "Don't worry, hyung! I'm safe," he said in lieu of a greeting, jumping straight to business. That was strange enough. "We need to contact the others so we can get a goddamn meeting to sort this out as soon as we can. I already spoke to Vietnam and Phillipines, and they're fine. Have you seen the news about Russia?"

"What? No, of course I didn't! My first thought was to make sure all of you were okay," China exclaimed.

"As flattering as that may be, there were some sort of rioters or something targeting him and I've been trying to follow it on the news but I have no idea as to his whereabouts. I'm not sure about most nations because of the time zone, so I'm assuming the European and American nations are either still sleeping or just found out. My news hasn't said anything about anyone else as far as I can tell, but…."

Korea's voice drifted off. "Shit," said China.

"Yeah, that just about sums it up."

"We need to get in contact with everyone else. I've never hated these time zones more than now," China complained.

"I'll call America. Since he’s the global leader or superpower or whatever it is that he calls himself, he should take some responsibility in this situation. Vietnam is making sure all the Southeast Asians are unharmed so that's one less thing for us to worry about. I'm not sure how it'll work out considering some nations may have to go into hiding but the sooner we get this mess fixed, the better." Korea paused to take a breath and sighed. "And here I was hoping to have a day off for once."

"Don't complain, Yong Soo," China reprimanded automatically.

"Yes, _mom._ "

Korea hung up.

China cursed under his breath, and decided that he should at least catch up on what was going on in Russia. He collapsed onto his couch, turned on the television, and switched to the news channel.

The words "Group Attacks Russia Personification After Leaks" and "Russia Disappeared After Injuring Own Citizens" flashed at the bottom of the screen as the blurry footage of a security camera was played. A group of twenty or so armed people attempted to attack Russia, only to fail miserably. By the end of the footage shown, most of the attackers were either unconscious or ran away. One of them had their arm bent in an unnatural angle.

China grimaced.

 _Humans_.

* * *

Eight hours later

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: Germany**

As you all ought to know by now, there has been a series of leaks revealing our identities as nations. I'm working on organizing a meeting where we can propose ways to deal with this issue, particularly negative backlash in countries with controversial pasts and/or countries that are currently unstable. Our governments are currently working on who released this information, so our priority should be dealing with the aftereffects of the leaks.

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: India**

ok, but has anyone heard from ivan, alfred, etc? i know syria, eritrea, haiti, and so on are in hiding but how many more?

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: Canada**

I've been in contact with Alfred. He's in a safe location but some people tried to break into his house and (presumably) attack him so he's planning on lying low for the next few days

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: Belarus**

America lying low? Yeah right. And Ivan is safe but trying to keep his location undisclosed for now. I think he doesn't like the fact he hurt his own people or something...

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: United Arab Emirates**

I think Afghanistan and Lebanon are in hiding too, I'm not sure where they are though

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: Egypt**

Libya as well. There also hasn't been word from The Democratic Republic of the Congo or Ethiopia, but I'm hoping that's just lack of access to proper methods of communication. Riots have been occurring in my country also, although they are on a slightly smaller scale.

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: South Africa**

I think it needs to be made clear that an attack on any of us should be considered an act of treason or war. It's unfair that people are rioting about our existence. I understand that humans want a scapegoat for all the atrocities of our past but there has to be some way to make them understand that we are not who we were, you know?

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: Belgium**

I agree. An attack on the personification of a country should be considered the same as an attack on the country itself. Even so, our people have a right to be upset. All we can do is wait it out. I'm sure that our citizens will come to their senses eventually. Let's just focus on making sure every other nation (especially ones in unstable areas) are safe.

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: Ghana**

I have Cote d'Ivoire and Nigeria at my place currently. All fellow African nations are welcome, as long as they promise to be peaceful. Can't promise safe transport, but my country isn't handling the news that badly so hopefully won't be too difficult once in my borders. I'm assuming you all already know the locations of my place- if you don't know, just ask.

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: Turkey**

I have a safe house I can lend to anyone nearby that needs it too. Wish we could contribute more, but it seems the best we can do is sit this one out while our bosses deal with it, huh?

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: Saudi Arabia**

sadly. it seems that a lot of citizens have totally lost it. thank god im not syria though...

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: England**

We need to have a world meeting (or as close to a world meeting as we can get right now) or a UN meeting so we can discuss this properly.

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: Spain**

Not that I want to disagree with u (who am I kidding I love disagreeing with u) but it'll be too much work for a lot of us to meet up at one place with all the chaos going on

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: England**

Shut your fucking mouth no one asked for your opinion

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: France**

as always- très digne, angleterre.

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: Czech Republic**

Aren't we supposed to be discussing the fact that our lives as personifications has just been discovered? Let's keep the unnecessary comments to a minimum because, in case you haven't noticed, there are more important issues at hand that your decades if not centuries old rivalry. We need to try and find out how many of us are safe, how many need to be relocated, and how many are missing.

**To: China and 191 others**

**From: Germany**

Czech is right. I'll organize a meeting (not a world meeting, but with have enough people from every continent/region) as soon as I can. In the meantime, try to keep out of trouble.

* * *

A brick was thrown at his window. The sounds of shattering glass averted China's attention from his cell phone. There was shouting in the streets. China came to the conclusion that he was an idiot. He knew his address was revealed along with the rest of the information. He should have gone somewhere else for the day, put on a hat to blend with the masses, _anything_ but stay boarded up in his home.

He quickly pushed several buttons on his phone, and brought it up to his ear. "Protesters. My house. Get here _quickly_ ," China hissed before hanging up. He dashed to his room. He always kept a gun in his nightstand drawer (and he knew it was illegal, thank you very much) in case of emergencies, and this definitely counted as one.

China ran over to the window.

Glancing at everyone below, the number of people wasn't that high. It was barely over fifty or so people, and could certainly be dealt with by the police. They were mostly college students anyway. He fired a warning shot. He was a good shot decades of military practise ensured that- and the bullet didn't hit anyone or anything but concrete. Several people did shout out in surprise, but they held their ground.

(They were fools. Nothing beneficial would come out of the attack.)

Several police officers arrived a few minutes later, and the people were ushered away. Luckily, no one had to resort to force. China sighed and sat down against the wall. Shards of broken glass littered the floor, dangerously close to his bare feet. He was too preoccupied with other thoughts to care.

 _Being a nation_ , he thought, _was an absolute pain_. It didn't help matters that his people were in unrest, sending his brain into turmoil. It was easy to ignore them when he was preoccupied worrying for everyone else, but now the true gravity of his situation at hit him and there was no escaping his people.

They were angry. Not all of them, of course, but there were enough for him to feel that anger. It was an anger directed at him, other nations, or both. His emotions mixed with that of his people made him want to throw up. It was always like this when a controversial issue came up, but it felt worse somehow. Maybe because this was infinitely more personal. Anger and hatred and pride and love twisted in his mind. There were so many voices wanting to be heard.

There was a teenage girl in Shanghai, as patriotic as they come, watching the news intently and begging to no one in particular for his safety.

There was a man in Tianjin ranting to his family about the disgust he felt knowing that immortal _demons_ were out there, passing as actual human beings.

There was a college student at Zhejiang University talking to her friends about how amazing of an opportunity it would be to meet all of the nations in person, and how much she could learn from them.

All these thoughts and millions- no, over a billion- overlapped in China's mind. He didn't know how much time he wasted sitting there but he knew one thing for certain. Life was easier when nobody knew he existed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: The following chapters will have a lot of references to history and intentionally problematic news articles. If I make any mistakes regarding history and/or politics, let me know!  
> Translations:  
> Hyung- older brother  
> Très digne, angleterre- very dignified, england


	2. Interviews and Other Unrelated Events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was longer and way more historical, but when rereading it I realized it was literally the same as a lecture on Chinese history so I shortened it to just the Shang Dynasty and cut out most of it....  
> Correct any mistakes I made, it's been a while since I took World History.

**Im Yong Soo** (originofevrything)

FOLLOW ME I AM SOUTH KOREA HELLO WORLD

 **singapura** (thefinecountry)

@originofevrything subtle.

 **Mei-Mei** (taiwanmxiao)

just notices that once you know who we are the usernames become really obvious

 **buT ELEPHANTS** (aseanthai)

@taiwanmxiao obvious? really? i thought everyone just randomly had names of countries as usernames

 **Mei-Mei** (taiwanmxiao)

@aseanthai the sarcasm is strong with this one (idk it was never an issue until now)

 **Nalin** (bharatganarajya)

dont mind me im just waiting for twitter to verify the best country in the world #India

* * *

The government, and China's boss in particular, urged him to stay out of trouble using whatever means necessary. China refused bodyguards or other escorts. A few radicals were nothing compared to the Taiping rebellion or the Qing dynasty conquest. Did these government officials really think he couldn't fend for himself? The implication was quite insulting.

The only precaution he took was temporarily moving to his other home, a small house in the outskirts of a small town in Huizhou. China was also required to contact either his boss, Xi Jinping, or some other government personnel on a daily basis as to ensure his safety.

Despite all the drama that ensued now that the public knew about nation personifications, China found the media's reaction to the news amusing. Some countries were making public appearances on television or making comments all over social media. America, for instance, would often tweet western stars. South Korea had a live interview on KBS and avoided all awkward questions by talking about his favorite K dramas. England sent a persistent reporter to the hospital. Poland's selfies went viral.

China avoided bringing in such attention to himself as best he could. That attempt didn't even last a week.

It was a college professor that found him. Her name was Wen Mingzhu, and she requested to ask him a few questions. He agreed, and arrived at her house for the interview. She ushered him to the formal dining room and provided him with a cup of tea before she started.

"Of course, I won't record them or anything of the sort if you don't want me too," she said sincerely.

"Oh, I don't mind," China assured her. "Besides, letting it circulate will hopefully mean there won't have to be any repeat performances."

"I doubt that," Mingzhu said.

"Well, in that case, I might as well get used to it." Mingzhu nodded and took out her phone to record the interview.

"I think I'll just jump straight to it," she said. "Can you tell me anything about the Xia or Shang dynasty? You know, what rulers stood out and such." Curiosity was written plainly all over her face.

China hesitated. Having lived a long life, emperors and dynasties that reigned for decades, if not centuries, didn't strike him as too impressive. The life of one human, he felt, was fleeting and insignificant.

"Well, Xie is the first ruler I remember having. He knew about me since the beginning. As bosses go, he wasn't the worst but he certainly wasn't the best. Apart from the fact that he was the first boss I've had, there was nothing he did that made him stand out to me. I'm content leaving most of my past rulers as nothing more than a paragraph in the history books, though.

"Many of the kings of that dynasty treated me with enough respect that I never resented them. Then, of course, there was the battle of Mingtiao. It was thirteen generations after Xie, I believe. The king of the Xia dynasty then was corrupt and an absolute ass, for lack of a better word. With his death, the Shang dynasty began. Tang the Great ruled after that, as you probably know. He treated me like a glorified pawn, of sorts. I was lied to constantly, but I had enough luxuries to not care. Good food, silk clothes, bronze, servants. I was... not happy, but I was satisfied. I never played a major role until much later. Most of his subordinates believed I was a family member. It was the easiest lie to tell, and it allowed me to avoid contact with humans.

"He Dan Jia came much later, but he stands out for some reason. Most likely because it was under his rule I fought alongside my people for the first time, in the second attack against the Blue Barbarians." There were the dozens of people he had murdered, but he didn't need to mention that. It wasn't the first time he had killed and it was certainly far from the last, so there was no point in mentioning it.

"What about Di Xin?"asked Mingzhu. She seemed to be hanging on to his every word.

"Capable, no doubt. He was strong and intelligent, or at least he was in the beginning of his reign. I thought he was too arrogant for his own good, but that was to be expected of many. Eventually, he seemed to have abandoned all morals. He preferred women and drinking over the wellbeing of his own people. I watched as he became more and more corrupt, and that goddamn wife of his was of no help.

"I feel the pain of my people, so I grew sick of them. I was enraged and attacked Di Xin. It was a stupid thing to do, but I was angry in a way words cannot suitably describe. There was a method of punishment Di Xin created that I was subjected to because of that. A large cylinder of bronze, stuffed with burning charcoal until even the air around it glowed red hot. I was forced to clasp it in my arms until I burned to death. I did die, but it was temporary."

"Yes, I've heard of that. The cannon burning punishment. What else?" Mingzhu asked. She was gripping the edge of the table tightly, tea completely abandoned. Her attention was focused entirely on him, searching his eyes hungrily for more information. It was clear that she loved history.

"After he realized he couldn't kill me permanently, he stopped trying. He didn't want to get rid of me either. However, he thought that as long as I was subdued, the rest of his people would be subdued as well, so he made sure I wouldn't speak out again. I hated Di Xin more than I hated any of my previous rulers. I contemplated killing him in his sleep multiple times, but I never got around to it.

"I did betray him for Jiang Ziya and Wu in the Battle of Muye. I wished I had the satisfaction of killing Di Xin myself, but he burned himself after the defeat of his army. Yīnguǒ bàoyìng, I suppose. I did manage to kill dozens upon dozens of loyal soldiers. I almost relished it. Of course, the Zhou dynasty followed and it only got bloodier from there," China finished.

"Will you tell me about it? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity after all, and I don't plan on wasting a single second of it," Mingzhu said. China smiled at her wryly.

"Of course."

Mingzhu grinned. Two hours had passed and she had just wheedled out every last morsel of information she wanted to know. "Thank you for your patience," she said politely. "Is there anything else you want to share?"

China hesitated, and thought of the backlash he and the other nations had received and decided to answer the question as best he could. "Yes, actually. We are the physical embodiments of the culture, history, and ideologies of a nation. Of people. And I pity the xenophobic assholes that don't realize what a turning point this is. Now you have the opportunity to prevent the atrocities of history repeating itself, and yet you waste your time arguing over events that are no longer relevant and it's pathetic."

Mingzhu's smile simply widened.

* * *

**To: 75 Undisclosed Recipients**

**BCC: Wang Yao**

**From: Ludwig Beilschmidt**

Subject: World Meeting

Emergency meeting held in Bern, Switzerland next Thursday-Saturday. We will discuss how to deal with the recent revelations of our existence. More information on the location and exact time to be sent out soon. Respond soon stating whether or not you are available on the set date. I urge you to attend as this is a matter of great importance to us all. Only a select 76 nations are invited since the rest are unable to leave their borders.

In addition, make sure to offer asylum or assistance to any nation that needs it. If possible, keep in touch with neighboring countries in case something happens.

Note that while governments are currently working on uncovering who is responsible for these leaks, it is not as important as the issue of having to deal with the public's knowledge. Try not to get sidetracked at the meeting.

Regards,

Germany

**To: Wang Yao**

**From: Honda Kiku**

Subject: Meeting

Are you going to the meeting? In addition, are you alright? I saw the news and apparently there's unrest amongst your people. Something about an interview on Youku. You should know better than to cause trouble like that.

**To: Honda Kiku**

**From: Wang Yao**

Re: Meeting

I'm fine, don't worry about it. I'm far from any major city, anyway. No one will be able to find me, even if they did have an issue. And yes, of course I'm going to the meeting! I'll see you there. How are you? If my memory serves, your people aren't the most passive.

To: Wang Yao

**From: Honda Kiku**

**Re: Re: Meeting**

Very funny- mine are fairly patriotic, apart from a few thousand or so. And I'm fine apart from the headaches. I'm just glad I'm not Somalia- you saw what happened, right? Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing you and the others on Friday. This whole business has been trying on all of us, and I've been worried sick for everyone. Hopefully everyone invited will be at the meeting- the sooner we can get this resolved, or at least somewhat sorted out, the better.

* * *

  **Nation Personifications and Wars**

By: Rebecca Hall, Featured Columnist

Naturally, the topic of NPs (Nation Personifications) is a controversial issue for all. The main reason?

War.

Of course, war is a broad topic. There are minor skirmishes, the World Wars, and everything in between. What really is the cause of the backlash is that the new face of the Nazis is not a long dead leader, it's a 20 year old man. Colonization was not done by people long forgotten, is was done by someone that may be your neighbor.

These creatures are not humans. They have fought in so many battles that it would take months to name them all. They have murdered so many in their own selfishness. Continuing their daily routines, not caring about the lives of others they have ruined.

What side did America fight in during the American Civil War? What about Vietnam? Can you look me in the eye and say that Belgium was not in some way responsible for the 8-10 million deaths during the Belgian Congo period? Is there any proof that the former Axis Power members never committed any crime during the second World War? Is England blameless for the 100+ wars it fought in the 18th to 20th centuries alone?

Ever since the end of World War II, there have been a total of 250 major wars in which 50 million people have died in, 20 million people made homeless, and countless others injured. You cannot say that these NPs have had nothing to do with such atrocities.

They have been responsible for so many deaths. An ordinary person, having killed one person, can be given a death penalty. An ordinary person, committing unintentional vehicular manslaughter, can have up to 15 years in prison depending on where they live. Yet these things that are supposed to represent us, human beings, and have been stated 'deserving the right of any other human being' (Obama's speech, see here) are not condemned by their own governments for the casualties they are responsible for.

Any reasonable person would find it ridiculous that people argue that these NPs are the same as any other person, without being punished (or at least denounced) for the crimes they have committed against so many. 

* * *

  **SEALAND** (realnationtm)  
Is it discrimination if England is verified on twitter and I'm not

 **Wy** (surroundedbymorons)  
@realnationtm stop acting surprised you have two followers and they're your parents

 **Arthur** **Kirkland** (arthrkrkland)  
@surroundedbymorons can I adopt you

 **SEALAND** @realnationtm  
@surroundedbymorons @arthrkrkland ummm rUDE MUCH?????

* * *

 **whatamidoinghere**  
what's next personified planets  
**73 notes**

 **surprisebitch**  
how do you sign up to be a nation i wanna live forever  
# _for real how does this happen #i feel like im in a shitty fanfiction or something lol_  
**1,372 notes**

 **leftbccbgrab**  
okay but remember that post about that dude with doppelgangers in super old photos? Is he a nation?  
# _I NEED TO KNOW #HOW HAVE WE NOT PICKED UP ON THIS BEFORE #YOUD THINK SOMEONE WOULD NOTICE THAT THEIR NEIGHBORS DONT AGE OR SOMETHING_  
**28 notes**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yīnguǒ bàoyìng- Karma  
> Youku- similar to Youtube, used by Chinese people  
> Constructive criticism and other forms of feedback are always appreciated! (Also help I have no idea if the Chinese is accurate or not; I studied it for a year in ninth grade and that's probably the worst qualification for anything.)


	3. Nations on Twitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A World Meeting takes place, nothing gets done, gender is brought up, and several nations find themselves on twitter.

China decided that there was nothing worse than an airplane.

He normally wasn't averse to them (he wasn't England, after all) but the people at the gateway gave him odd glances and the woman next to him kept staring. He didn't blame them, as young people rarely had long ponytails or wear military uniforms, but after the leaks.... Well, he might as well have walked around with a huge sign that said, "LOOK AT ME I AM CHINA".

The fact that the flight was delayed for an hour and a half did nothing to appease his bad mood.

Finally, they were up in the air and China could relax. Sort of. The woman was still staring. He was mildly tempted to ask her if she wanted a photograph or something of the sort, when a flight attendant came by with a cart of drinks.

"Hello," she said cheerily."Is there anything you want to-" She caught China's eye and let out a small gasp.

"Yes, I know," he said grumpily. He normally wouldn't be rude, but he was annoyed to no end. "Now, do you have anything alcoholic? The stronger the better."

The flight attendant fluttered nervously. "Um, I need an ID."

"I think we both know I'm China, and I think we both know that four thousand years old is a suitable age to drink."

* * *

 **A** **LFRED JONES** (alfrdthehero)

woah just woke up to 600k followers? #PerksOfBeingANation

 **loviNO** (thebettervargas)

@alfrdthehero of course that's your priority and NOT THE FACT THAT OUR IDENTITIES HAVE BEEN REVEALED

 **ALFRED JONES** (alfrdthehero)

you know, some people need to chill

 **loviNO** (thebettervargas)

@alfrdthehero DID YOU JUST SUBTWEET ME YOU FUCKING BASTARD LETS FIGHT OKAY

 **Im Yong Soo** (originofevrything)

I swear on my life the rest of us are 100% mature. Actually scratch that. I swear on Hong Kong's life. He's dispensable, right?

 **Leon Wang** (hkisthebest)

@originofevrything The people I'm friends with, I s2g... #IHateThisFamily

 **Arthur Kirkland** (arthrkrkland)

why tf are people sending me lyrics from some american musical? im not king george 3 but i am contemplating murder now thanks to you

 **Leon Wang** (hkisthebest)

@arthrkrkland if you are going to kill someone, i volunteer Korea as tribute

 **singapura** (thefinecountry)

just got off a 13 hour flight and low-key want to punch something

 **singapura** (thefinecountry)

CAN I FINE SOMEONE FOR BEING ANNOYING AT AN AIRPORT PLEASE

 **Mei-Mei** (taiwanmxiao)

Singapore and Her Inability to Understand Public Areas

 **ALFRED JONES** ( alfrdthehero)

@taiwanmxiao by Fall Out Boy

* * *

Bern, Switzerland

The World Meeting was largely unproductive. China wondered why he expected anything else.

While they did manage to stay on task, no one could agree on what security measures should be taken, how to react, and so on.

"My people have already died down for the most part," Thailand said. "I'm sure that everyone else will soon follow. Once enough time passes, it won't be a big deal anymore. Besides, our governments have made it clear that any act against us won't be tolerated-"

"Yeah, and look how much that did. Somalia is still out of it, terrorists are still going crazy, and a ton of us are getting harassed by the media," Egypt interrupted. "I thought we already all agreed that there is a huge fucking problem."

"We did," South Korea said with a sigh. "But there aren't exactly any good ideas as to what we should do. We can't exactly put a restraining order on our entire population, can we?"

"I just want to find out who's responsible so I can bash their head in," Belarus said. She, like everyone else, was in an awful mood and that did nothing to nullify her temper.

"We definitely need better protection," said India, ignoring Belarus. "I've said that over and over again. Honestly, can't you people hear me? I'm sharing borders with some people whose citizens I don't exactly trust."

"Shouldn't the priority be countries like Somalia and Eritrea?" France pointed out. "So far, all we've discussed are ourselves. It should be fairly obvious that it's the unstable nations that need the most help, especially the ones with unreliable governments. We can't exactly rely on their leaders."

China sighed and buried his head in his hands. They had been at the meeting for a total of four and a half hours and had gotten nowhere close to finding a solution. In fact, they seemed to be going in circles. He was beginning to wonder if half the participants even agreed on what the actual problem was. It was ridiculous.

"What do you think, China?" Germany asked, noticing his unusual state of silence.

"I think that I need a goddamn break," China answered rudely. "Honestly, when do we get to eat lunch?"

"For once I'm actually agreeing with the commie. I'm hungry and there's a McDonald's a block away," America said.

Germany scowled. "Only if everyone votes in favor for lu-"

The words were barely out of his mouth when every person's hand went up in agreement. Germany sighed and shook his head slowly in defeat. "Very well. We'll have a forty five minute break for lunch. Not a second longer."

Everyone jumped to their feet and dashed to the door. China was close to the front. He wanted to see if Wok Town was still open.

* * *

 

**The Science Concerning Nation Personifications**

**By: Hashim Baqri**

Despite the strangeness of it all, it is now widely known that countries are alive and live amongst ordinary humans. However, these countries are set apart from ordinary people by several traits- the most incredible of these being their ability to live forever and heal from otherwise fatal wounds.

The discovery of immortal beings has lead to many people, scientists and ordinary citizens alike, to question the possibility of a medical breakthrough by studying this newfound possibility of constantly regenerating cells. The most ambitious of these studies would be an attempt for humans to live forever (although that discovery is likely a millennia away from being a possibility, if it even is a possibility) but the one that most people are concerned with is uncovering the cure for many diseases.

As most people are positive nation personifications are real, and not just a clever hoax, it would be prudent to study them in the hopes that they could result in a medical breakthrough.

Dev Sadhu, a renown biologist, has stated this phenomenon practically "requires further study" and has expressed his desire to examine their biology. He also said that he has "no doubt that it could be possible to imitate their abilities to improve the longevity of humans ad find ways to treat illnesses and injuries that have always been considered impossible to cure."

Still, the idea of experimentation on nation personifications is not without controversy. Humanitarian Ioana Petran has spoken about this issue yesterday evening, saying that if all restrictions on human experimentation ought to apply to nation personifications as well and it is "nothing short of cruel to subject any person under experimentation as if they were lab rats."

This has sparked a debate in the medical community, although no nations have spoken on the matter yet.

* * *

**Hungary Speaks Out About Gender Equality**

**By: Jóska Ference**

The personification of Hungary, or Elizabeta Héderváry, has been interviewed recently on M1. Once the interview turned towards the topic of gender equality, and the backlash some female nations have received, she became incredibly vocal and slightly angered.

"The fact that [the] gender [of Nation Personifications] has become such a controversial issue in so many countries is pathetic," she said. "If anything, the fact that their representative is female should have spurred a movement in lessening the gender gap. I mean, the people complaining need to know that by not promoting a proper education for their daughters and sisters, by stating that a woman's job is to find and satisfy a husband, by claiming women are not important [...] are insulting their country. They are the reason their country is a mess."

She then continued to state that the government and everyone claiming to be for gender equality need to push further for young women's education, equal pay for equal work, and so on. Héderváry even went as far as calling out several people by name.

Perhaps Héderváry is right. I, for one, certainly think so. In a recent interview with China, or Yao Wang, that went viral on both Youku and Weibo, he stated that this event is a learning opportunity for us all. Maybe with such powerful people becoming steadily more active about vital topics, we can...  Read More 

* * *

**Emma J** (wafflesrheaven)

@elizaedelvary just saw interview on tv, nice one!

 **ALFRED JONES** ( alfrdthehero)

ok but whys is there still no fanfic of me and captain america? my people have let me down...

 **Matthias The Great** (awesomernordic)

*wakes up* you know what i really need today? to be reminded of all my past mistakes #ImKiddingForFucksSake #JustSTOP

 **Lukas** (lbondeviking)

My phone won't stop buzzing can you not. I'm trying to fucking sleep

 **Mei-Mei** (taiwanmxiao)

how r mainland chinese ppl even on twitter? isnt ur internet censored by ur non-taiwanese government? just leave me tf alone. not my fault i exist #TaiwanIsStillBetterTho

 **Honda Kiku** risingsunhonda

For the last time, I am not obsessed with 'yaoi manga', nor am I imperialist anymore, so you can stop with the harassment. It's getting old.

 **ALFRED JONES** (alfrdthehero)

maybe there's primaries going on bUT COME ONE I NEED ME/CAPTAIN AMERICA FIC OKAY I WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE

 **Mattie** (notamoosewilliams)

@alfrdthehero um... not to be mean but priorities?

 **Lovino** (thebettervargas)

@alfrdthehero notamoosewilliams FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS

 **Ivan B** (itswhitebluered)

Some people on this goddamn website need to realize the Cold War is over #Americans #Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (also Wok Town is a legitimate Asian restaurant in Bern, Switzerland. It's also closed for business. Damn it- they served pretty good Korean food)  
> Feedback always welcome! Seriously, I'm starved for any form of attention.


	4. More Social Media Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because who doesn't love controversy, tumblr, and politics?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My reason for writing this? I have an essay due tomorrow and I love procrastinating. In addition, how do you write in tumblr post format?  
> (Also went back and fixed some stuff in previous chapters... nothing worse than reading your own writing, trust me)

**Lauren K** (laurkimsays)

check out 'nation personifications and wars' by hall.. really makes u think

 **George in GA** ( thisawsomguy)

does anyone know if the NPs actually participated in ww1, ww2, etc?

 **Rosie Amsel** (mraudrsgirl)

my grandma is a holocaust survivor so not entirely comfortable w/ 'germany' waltzing around and not having any official backlash

 **Bao Nguyen** (bnguyen_2)

But think about everything these NPs must have witnessed, all the people they have seen come and go... It's sad, isn't it?

 **성햬준** (girlsgen_fan)

Ok but what about civil wars? like Korea, where there always two or did the personification split or did the past one die and new ones came up? whats the science behind this?

 **CLINTASHA** (hiimchunhua_)

everyone talking politics and im here wondering if anyone wrote that alfred/captain america fic yet

* * *

**A Deeper Look Into World War 2**

By Andrea Santos, Featured Columnist

Jonathan Carver, a historian who specializes in the Second World War, has uncovered evidence that multiple representatives of the former Axis Powers (Germany, Italy, Japan, Austria, etc.) have fought in World War 2.

The greatest piece of evidence is a photograph of a small group of Nazi soldiers, taken in 1942. It shows two men that bear an alarming resemblance to the NP of Germany and the NP of Austria. In addition, a letter by Wilhelm Keitel and a report by Erwin Rommel (both of whom were Field Marshals in Nazi Germany) refer to a man with the surname 'Beilschmidt' which is not exactly too common.

A journal entry of an unknown soldier also describes a 'blond, blue-eyed man named Ludwig. He was of impressive build, and seemed to know the generals well. He held the status that only good birth and high connections could bestow... I wanted to resent him but could not, as [his words] could stir bravery and patriotism in even the most cowardly of men" One cannot tell if this is actually Germany, but the evidence seems to suggest so.

It ought to be obvious to anyone that these NPS are not as blameless as they'd like us to think. They have all (whether directly or indirectly) participated in genocides, wars, and all sorts of crimes against humanity.

People are punished severely for even the most simple crimes, and yet we have murderers roaming the streets of which (until recently) we knew nothing of.

There are people out there that argue these NPs had no choice in the matter. These are the same people that claim NPs are as good as any other human. I call bullshit.

These personifications cannot die. They are shown respect from their leaders and are often personally close to them (take the Royal family of the UK, for instance). So when have they ever made any attempt to restrain their leaders?

People have died during wars to protect others because that is what's right. Have the NPs ever done anything of the sort?

These NPs do not deserve the treatment that they get. None of them are blameless, none of them are without blood on their hands.

Keep that in mind the next time you're tempted to defend them.

**Politics Just Got More Complicated**

**Rahim Abdel, CNN**

The newfound knowledge of the existence of nation personifications has added a whole new layer to politics. Many have reached out to these personifications, both on social media and in person. While most are either in hiding (as a result from backlash from racial groups, covered here) or simply refuse to speak on the subject, a number of nations have spoken publicly about past and current events.

The idea that the nations reflect the people's opinions are difficult to swallow, especially as nations seem to have a personality of their own- a fact only emphasized by the existence of "human names". However, it does appear that most nations that have spoken seem to reflect public opinion.

Despite this, some nations are unapologetically political in the things they do and say. The representative of the Republic of Korea, otherwise known as Im Yong Soo, made public two days ago that he does not fully support the current president, Park Geun-Hye, although he refused to say why. He also seems to take a fairly lax stance on matters such as relations with North Korea, although it is unknown if he was merely brushing off the question or truly didn't care.

While this comment about the president, who has a high approval rating at the time, did rouse questions from hundreds of Korean reporters as to what is happening behind the scenes, it has not yet spurred investigation and is not seen as valid reason to look further into President Park's position. Even so, this has not stopped a small protest from erupting in Seoul, South Korea's capital city.

Less subtlety, the NPs of Iran and England have both spoken out on several issues concerning their respective nations.

Iran seems fairly supportive of being run by a theocracy, although she was clearly evasive when asked directly about specific rulers- especially Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who was disqualified from running for office by the religious leaders in the state. She did, however, speak openly about the relations between Iran and numerous nations, declaring that she was "a fan of peace in all forms" and personally believed in progressing the country forward in any way possible. She also criticized a couple of Iranian legislations, one of which was the forced wearing of the hijab, quoting the Quran to argue that it should remain the choice of the women. All comments received backlash from radicals of nearly all political opinions, and Iran has repeatedly condemned them in return.

Just as openly, though perhaps not as professionally, England's NP has revealed through a series of strongly worded tweets and a couple of interviews that he does not hold several politicians in high regard. This list includes (but is not limited to, apparently) Nigel Farage, Prime Minister David Cameron, and, almost predictably, Jeremy Hunt. His comments stirred up a fuss and resulted in thousands also voicing their opinions much more vocally than before, although there are yet to be any major protests. Two have broken out, one in London and another in Glasgow.

Other nations that have spoken about politics, although to a smaller public response. It is easily deduced that despite the remaining controversial atmosphere surrounding these nations, there are enough people listening to what they say to stir up a public response to the criticisms they bring to light

The idea that yet another player in the intricate game of politics has been introduced may prove as difficult to adjust to as the idea of immortal beings walking among us, and makes clear another issue that can arise from their existence.

* * *

China was in a bad mood. First, as he discovered yesterday, Wok Town was closed for business. Second, everyone seemed to be disagreeing with everyone else out of spite, not genuine disagreement. Third, it was long past dinner and he still wasn't out of the damn meeting.

It was Saturday, which meant that at least it was the last day of the meeting. Of course they'd all leave with nothing resolved. Just because the issue hit a little closer to home didn't mean the nations would suddenly start working together.

But Somalia was missing, no one had heard from Afghanistan, and so on. They _needed_ to come up with something.

Unfortunately, they represented their people but could not change the attitudes their people had towards them. It definitely didn't help that there were more articles flying around, causing more drama.

There were minor protests still sparking across several countries, although some have died down. There were still countries like England, Germany, and America that were still getting negative attention. Japan was also getting his fair share, though most of it were from citizens of other countries.

The nations themselves were already showing signs of wear. America was blatantly tired, a rarity from the usually overly energetic nation. France was uncharacteristically tense and looked like he would snap at the slightest movement. Japan simply became more reserved ("I didn't even know that was even possible," Korea had joked, but China didn't smile).

Every country was growing tired from the controversy stemmed from the leaks. Even countries China didn't expect to receive much backlash, like Botswana or Chile, were obviously worn out. It was unnerving.

China's own pains had died down for the most part. He didn't know if it was because his people were at peace or he simply got used to the headaches. It was probably both.

Indonesia sat down, her chair grating against the tile floor. It was only then that China released anyone had been speaking at all.

"Any other thoughts?" Germany asked, although his mind seemed to be elsewhere. Actually, nearly half of nations that had gathered were either half asleep or already sleeping.

Germany's eyes also seemed to be focused completely on the clock opposite of him. China couldn't blame him- it was less than an hour before the meeting would come to an end and everyone present evidently needed sleep, or at least a break from the never-ending stream of politics.

Korea, who was on his left, would not stop tapping his foot loudly against the floor and was too engrossed with his phone to notice China's irritation. Brazil, who was at his right, was busy having a staring match with Chile. China looked around to see what the other nations were doing. Russia was asleep, England was absentmindedly humming a Queens song, and Vietnam was reading indiscreetly.

"I said, are there any other thoughts?" Germany repeated. There was an edge to his voice, like he might explode at any moment. Perhaps Italy sensed this, because his hand shot up.

"I know! We can end this meeting now because we're all very, very tired and need rest! And then I can make some pasta because pasta makes everything better and-"

Germany's left eye twitched.

China sighed and wondered how much longer he could last without killing somebody.

* * *

 **Leon Wang** (hkisthebest)

sympathizing w/ @taiwanmxiao rn bc these mainland chinese ppl r patriotic af like just cuz an NP exists for HK doesnt mean HK isnt a part of china (who here does wish it wasnt bc i do)

 **Mei-Mei** (taiwanmxiao)

@hkisthebest RIGHT? nothing against china but honestly this is just getting sooo annoying. cuz we function as our own country (u less so but still) why shouldn't we exist?

 **ALFRED JONES** (alfrdthehero)

Guess who's gonna be on CNN next Thursday?! #SoExcited #CNN

 **Im Yong Soo** (originofevrything)

tbh im not japan's biggest fan or anything (who is lol) but can you please not target him on the internet? it's not helping

 **CNN Breaking News** (cnnbrk)

Yes, the NP of America will be on CNN at 8/9 central. Don't miss this interview, which will discuss issues regarding NPs AND the upcoming Presidential election!

 **Lauren K** (laurkimsays)

OKAY NOW I ACTUALLY WANT NEXT THURSDAY TO ARRIVE ASAP I GOTTA SEE MY NATION ON LIVE TV

 **CLINTASHA** (hiimchunhua_)

the real question: wtf does america think about donald trump?

 **Ivan B** (itswhitebluered)

multiple african/middle east countries: get fucking attacked

americans: WOW LETS DISCUSS HILLARY CLINTON OR SOM E IRRELEVANT SHIT

* * *

After coming back home from the meeting, China asked if he could move back into his home. His boss refused, and told him to stay in Huizhou for just a little longer. He complied, though it was with great reluctance.

China realized, however, that Huizhou was pretty boring. He was used to the city and going out to enjoy what the streets had to offer. He occupied his time by reading, watching crap television, and scouring the news for more information about the situation in other countries. He'd be lying if he said he didn't care about what happened to his family members, even if they were assholes most of the time.

Maybe that was why he called Taiwan. He didn't expect her to pick up and a part of him wished she hadn't.

"Here to apologize for your shit citizens?" she asked. Taiwan's voice was the same as it usually was when she spoke to him. Somewhat friendly but with a slight edge to it, as if she were on the verge of snapping.

"What?" China said, having no idea what she was talking about. "No, um. I wanted to see how you were holding up."

There was silence on the other end. China wondered if Taiwan was surprised. He never did give her much attention before unless it was political, and if it was political the attention was always negative.

"I'm fine. My people aren't mad at all. Actually, there's been a couple of people asking for my autograph. I'd be enjoying myself if I weren't so worried for everyone else," she admitted. Of course her people would be happy. So many of them wanted independence, and they probably saw their own nation personification as proof of their right to be recognized as their own country.

"Mine were a bit... upset, at first. They're fine with it now, I think. I'm not so sure. I was busy in Switzerland for the past couple of days."

"Lucky," Taiwan said. "I wish I were allowed at world meetings." There was a hint of bitterness in her tone. China hesitated before responding.

"I wouldn't, if I were you," China said, trying his best to keep his tone light. "Trust me, nothing ever gets done and you always leave with a migraine. Besides, you can barely sit still when we have dinner together. How would you manage at a meeting that's hours long?"

"I did before you took my seat at the UN," Taiwan said harshly. Then she sighed. "Let's talk about something else. Anything else."

"Well, what do you want to talk about?" China asked.

"If I ranted for thirty minutes straight about how annoying Hong Kong is, would that be cool with you?" Taiwan said. China smiled.

"Actually," he said, still smiling, "I'd encourage it." Taiwan laughed.

* * *

**imajoredin-nerd**

am i the only one that feels like the whole idea of personified countries is something straight out of a shitty novel? how can IMMORTAL beings that represent a whole population exist? it's ridiculous from both a scientific and (for the most part) religious point of view. i need a logical explanation for this! how did they even come about, anyway? they had to be born from something, and there isn't a single religion that talks about this so there has to be a scientific explanation but there isn't!

im pretty sure im the only one focusing on this and not, like, politics or whatever, but it's so confusing. do nps just appear out of thin air? what dictates their existence? like, why are there two germany's? i get one is prussia or east germany or whatever, but that was dissolved years ago. and why is there only one india? doesnt india have a shit ton of different groups and cultures?

_#by this fucking logic hogwarts could be real too #not saying this is a bad thing #my brain hurts rn_

**92 notes**

**guns-andshlps**

np of america being interviewed about the presidential election next thursday! who else is hoping hes going to go full out w/ bernie sanders support?

_#how does the two party system even affect him anyway #bernie sanders #feel the bern_

**514 notes**

**riaredeyes**

judging from twitter only, italy np is a talkative pasta nerd, s korea is a major k pop fan, america is an idiot, france is totally hot/a bit of a flirt... yeah, this is getting way too stereotypical for me

_#nation personifications #just saying #idk maybe im taking social media too seriously_

**207 notes**

**alexandcrhamiton**

i understand that people are concerned over european nations and the north america nps but can we focus on some other countries for once? according to the news, the np of somalia has been missing for two days now and there's been protests in several middle eastern countries, as well as a lot of unrest in china bc of the nps of taiwan and hong kong...

_#but people would rather focus on some dumb american interview #russia np has a fucking point #not saying the usa isnt important bc it is #but this is getting tiring_

**403 notes**


	5. *Insert Creative Chapter Title Here*

China sighed contentedly as he lay down, completely sprawled across his bed. It was good to be back in Beijing.

For fuck's sake, it was good to be home.

(Maybe the people were still a long way from being completely accepting, but progress had been made and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't satisfied)

* * *

"And now, with Reporter Elise Hunt and her live interview with none other than the personification of America himself, Alfred F. Jones."

Elise Hunt had smiled widely, revealing her blindingly white teeth, as Alfred sat down next to her. It was odd to see him in a neatly cut suit, but he sat down in the chair like it was a throne.

"So, Mr. Jones," Hunt started, after shaking his hand. "It must have been a chaotic two weeks for you."

Alfred laughed. "You have no idea," he said. "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy at least some of the attention."

"Naturally. Well, it's an honor to have you here, Mr. Jones, but first thing's first. What are your opinions on the ongoing primaries? With Trump and Sanders winning the Iowa caucus recently, I'm assuming you must have something to say, and being the representation of us all- well, of course your opinion matter greatly. Are there any candidates you'd like to endorse?" asked Hunt.

Alfred shrugged. "I guess I don't know. I represent the U.S. as a whole, so my opinions are split. It's confusing, yeah, 'cause sometimes I'm all for the Bern, or Trump, or Cruz, or Clinton, or- well, you get the idea. Most of the time, I just end up with a shitty headache," he explained. "So, uh, no favorites. I mean I have my own opinions too, 'cause I'm Alfred as well as America- does that make sense? But when it comes to politics it's harder to distance myself."

Hunt nodded, before moving on to the next question. "And what about your relationships with other nations? Are they largely based on politics, or is it the other way around?"

"Obviously, I don't make up all the policies 'round here," said Alfred. "So most of the time, my personal relationships are based on history or current political relations. We do tend to have a time for politics and a time for personal stuff, so there's that. Some countries base more of their relations on politics, though. Uh, back to me, there's also people I like and people I don't, both personally and politically. Like Russia, for example, the fucking bastard." He turned to the cameras, as if noticing them for the first time. "Ah, fuck, probably shouldn't have said that, huh?" He waved at the cameras over enthusiastically. "Hey, Russia! How're you doing?"

Hunt pursed her lips, but her brown eyes shined with thinly concealed mirth. "That's good to know. But, and here's what the general public are most curious about, how far does your involvement go in your government and in the past actions of this country? What's the extent of your- and other nations'- participation in major events?"

Almost immediately, Alfred grew uncomfortable. He glanced at the cameras once more before sighing, the bubbly energy maintained in the two previous questions gone.

"It's complicated," he said, finally. "We're usually a part of the military, but we tend to go by pseudonyms. And I don't mean our human names- other ones. That's why there's so few records of me as Alfred F. Jones, and why historians were unable to make the connection before now. And, uh, I guess I was involved the most in World War Two. Me and the Allied Powers actually held pretty frequent meetings. In the Civil War, though, I was incapacitated. I remember fighting in the Korean and Vietnam War and the Revolutionary War, of course. Nowadays, I usually just hang around in the White House unless there's something super important I need to do. Before the leaks, most of the workers there thought I was an intern, actually. I helped out with paperwork and I still do. Not as glamorous as you'd expect, but I'm cool with it. I don't get much say in what bills are signed and that shit, either."

"And do you know much about other nations' involvements?" Hunt pressed on.

"Nah," said Alfred, and that was that.

"What about the existence of nations? If you can, may you explain how personifications work?" asked Hunt.

"I actually don't know," laughed Alfred. "I don't even know how I came to be. I existed long before my revolution, because England raised me, so it can't be when a country is officially formed. If that were so, personifications for micro-nations and certain areas wouldn't exist. I'm assuming it has to do with a sense of independence and not formal independence. Take Hong Kong for example. They're a part of China but they were a British colony, and it was under British rule that Leon Wang was ever born- if that's the right way to put it. So yeah, it's probably that."

The interview continued, highlighting certain points in history and controversial topics in the U.S. By the end of the allotted two hours, all of the main points had been thoroughly questioned.

"Well, that's all for this interview," declared Hunt, noticing a coworker's signal off-set. "Thank you again, Mr. Jones, for joining us today."

Alfred smiled, jumping to his feet. "Pleasure's all mine," he said.

* * *

 **Francis Bonnefoy** (frbonnefoy)

Why are people sending me photos of those frog meme things, and why do I feel like @arthrkrkland is somehow behind this?

 **Arthur Kirkland** (arthrkrkland)

@frbonnefoy you're welcome :)

 **George in GA** (thisawsomeguy)

if theres a Hong Kong, Macau, North/South Italy etc are there state nps? they have their own governments or is that not how nps work?

 **Bao Nguyen** (bnguyen_2)

mildly concerned as for what will happen is NPs started getting more involved in politics...

 **maria~** (littlemissroyale)

all those people complaining abt nations bc of racism/colorism/etc makes me laugh bc yall are accusing the universe of being racist lol

 **Im Yong Soo** ( originofevrything)

it's better than being bombarded with politics, but why the sudden Produce 101 spam? #ItsOriginal

 **Honda Kiku** (risingsunhonda)

@originofeevrything Original? yeah, right. Misleading username, much? #AKB48

 **Im Yong Soo** (originofevrything)

@risingsunhonda hush child, at least I'm not the one with the most hipster twitter name of ALL TIME

 **Honda Kiku** (risingsunhonda)

@originofevrything Ladies and gentlemen, the supposed "mature" country.

 **Leon Wang** (hkisthebest)

sometimes i hate my fucking family

 **Mei-Mei** ( taiwanmxiao)

@hkisthebest we love you too nerd

* * *

**Empires, Imperialism, and Nation Personifications**

**By: Aliya Tolani, Featured Columnist**

As many know, there have been various imperialists and empires throughout the pages of history. While they have mostly died out in modern times, the theory is not completely gone, though people may claim otherwise. There are two modern "empires" in particular: America and China.

The idea of America being so flawed was a foreign concept to me for many years. However, when traveling abroad, I was able to witness the impact of the U.S.A. on foreign countries. It is impossible to find a place in which the word "America" will not invoke some sort of reaction. That realization spurred me to research the precise history of America.

The information that this research was the truth so many see easily and so many more overlook.

America was built on bullying, for lack of a better word, Latin American countries and the Native Americans. In the Declaration of Independence, it states "all men are created equal" which is arguably one of the most memorable quotes in our history. Yet the founding fathers of this country had slaves, sexism is hugely prevalent in our history, and Americans later came up with this grand idea of 'Manifest Destiny'. The inherent racism and sexism maintained by the United States populace has been a frequent comeuppance in its history.

The problem has definitely lessened in modern times, but the idea of white supremacy (and the supremacy of any one race) remains, as well as other issues. The erasure of certain parts of American history remains a major problem as we continuously behave as though there has been no wrongdoing on our part in major global events. The fact that most of our "World History" classes go so far as to keep regions like Southeast Asia out of the curriculum should say enough on its own. Most Americans remain painfully ignorant on the situations in other continents as well and seem to believe that everyone across the world is held to the "American standard". (In addition, the fact that "America" is used when referring to the United States and not the continents is a clear example of Americentrism, an argument continued in Kimura's article.)

Even countries that are drastically different in policy are equally problematic. China is a large, wealthy nation today despite having its foundation stem from the cost of others. Korea and Japan, for instance, were originally simple expansions of China and subject to Chinese rule for a long period of time. It was only when Japan adopted an imperialist viewpoint that a hint of change began in the Eastern Asian region.

Aside from the Century of Humiliation, China has been no less of an empire than its Western counterparts. Chinese students are taught so much history, and yet their textbooks seem to gloss over the fact that China was an empire with a regime bloodier and crueler than that of, for example, the French Empire. Westerners also seem to forget this fact.

It should be noted that for many Chinese people, the idea of imperialism and empires are inherently western, and thus they do not admit to the imperialist atrocities of their past.

How does this relate to Nation Personifications?

Well, think about it. These are beings that have lasted through these wretched times and (as psychology proves) most likely maintained that worldview through their "adulthood".

The interviews of both countries is enough to reveal this. America refused to speak about Manifest Destiny and the Civil War, despite being prodded multiple times. He also refused to speak on racism and other forms of discrimination, claiming that the topic should not relate to him. And yet wouldn't the literal personification of the U.S.A. be a great motivator for further movements against discrimination?

China gave a descriptive recount on his history and despite politics never entering the interview, it still made his thoughts clear. China was quick to elaborate on its successes and some failures, but did not speak of the past empire/colony relationships it held with various Asian countries. Instead he painted himself as being a martyr at times and a hero at others- but never at fault for the pain inflicted on thousands of people.

These actions on their behalf have resulted in backlash within their nations and from the people outside of their country. While this article is not stating that NPs are furthering imperialist views, it is stating that they will most likely prove to only worsen discrimination, international conflicts, and continue the inaptitude for teaching accurate history.

There is little we can do about this, as we can't kill NPs or do any such inhuman action. However, we can (and should) advocate for the removal of NPs from the political sphere.

* * *

**dw-ismy-life**

IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE SOMALIA NP IS STILL MISSING AND THE AFGHANISTAN NP WAS SHOT AT

_#THE WESTERN FOCUS IS PISSING ME OFF #SERIOUSLY WHY ISNT THIS A BIGGER DEAL_

**398 notes**

**lbr-lackingalife**

okay but now the joke posts where we ship countries is suddenly all the more awkward

_#this is my lowest point in life #i can see the future in which countries are actually shipped like real people #pls tell me england and france are dating or something #that would be hilarious #also explains canada lol_

**206 notes**

**teen-wclffan**

Imagine (before these leaks) how weird it must be for the president/prime minister/whatever when being introduced to their country

_#i bet america drove at least one president insane #the real reason for the death of william h harrison_

**655 notes**

**proudgryffindork**

i get why ppl are so worked up over nps but have you SEEN germany? damn son, i would totally tap that

_#hope this isnt offensive to anyone but honestly #too hot #hot damn #shut up that song is gold_

**117 notes**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explanations for a couple references-  
> Deez Nuts is a joke candidate for US Presidency  
> England was referencing David Cameron, in my opinion a douchelord of a prime minister  
> Producer 101, a Korean show, was claimed to have been copied from AKB48, a Japanese show  
> William H Harrison is a US president that died a month into his first term


	6. Peace and Quiet (Sort Of?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because time heals most wounds.

**Janlees**

shocked at how ppl fail to understand that nps are not countries

like yeah countries are shitty and they have messed up history but nps didnt cause it? like, hitler created the nazi party not ludwig beilschmidt. pretty sure any petty fights they had did not cause wars, their leaders did. didnt america confirm that they listened to their leaders and not the other way around?

also of course they murdered people bc when soldiers go to war thats what they do. if a soldier comes back you don't arrest him bc he did what he had to do to survive in a war.

yeah, i get that most of these nps are potentially super problematic but you cant just attack them for those reasons. just because they experienced a lot of bloodshed doesnt mean they embody war and, you know, not a culture. plus the ppl that are attacking america for being white or for the fact that historically "weaker" nations are female- do you honestly think they control who they are? smh i know this site can be toxic sometimes but thats just out of hand  

if i see one more 'nps are evil' post on my dash, i s2g i wont hesitate to go on a full-blown rant.

_#people are so stupid #nation personfications_

**16,049 notes**

**whatisthiseven**

i love how half of tumblr is talking/arguing about politics and the other half is making this entire thing one big meme

_#someone edit japan np to history of japan video #nation personifications #this is why i love tumblr_

**4,091 notes**

**probablynotcrazy**

GUESS WHO JUST MET NP ITALY WOW IS THIS REAL LIFE

_#is this fantasy #nation personifications #IT WAS SO AWKWARD THO OMG_

**70 notes**

* * *

**Backlash on NPs**

**Kenneth Nelson, Featured Columnist**

Ever since the mass leaks of government documents (of which Anonymous has claimed responsible for) there has been numerous conflicts over the subject of NPs. Some claim that they are harmful for the actions of the past while others protect the NPs. The government has also taken an active role in the protection on these personifications. These NPs are clearly the wronged party in this scenario. They should not be the ones held guilty for the crimes of their past. The actual governments are not receiving the backlash that their NPs are, so how can one consider this fair? The answer is that it's not.

You must take certain factors into account. No one imprisons soldiers when they return from a way for murder. That's not proper procedure. They are war heroes and to punish them for doing what's right is just immoral. Besides, these nations experience the pain that their people go through, is that not punishment enough? They only did what they believed at the time to be the right thing. Take Alfred F. Jones (or America) who has stated that it is the leaders of the country that tells them what to do. NPs thus have little say in the policies of their government. Being helpless to do anything should not be punishable.

In addition, they've expressed their regret for specific actions (see interview with Russia on actions of USSR) as well as pushing for reform in...  Read More 

**Comments:**

**Joseph Roberts** : so true tho? Like ppl are so mad at america for NO REASON WHATSOEVER it's so annoying

 **Joyce Han** : I mean I agree that people are getting too worked up over NPs but this article was a bit stretched….

 **Olivia Tengku** : but if they become more active in politics wouldn't that be a bad thing? Because then it would be, like, tyranny of the majority considering NPs represent all the people so they'd be inclined towards the majority?

* * *

**Why NPs Should Face Repercussions**

**Gianna Biancardi, Featured Columnist**

It has been brought to my attention that Nelson has published an essay titled, "Backlash on NPs?" While it is true that NPs have been harassed (something that all people should realize as a genuine problem) Nelson's extremely biased account has several faults. He exaggerates the wants of activists and protesters. No one believes that NPs should be imprisoned or harmed in any way, but they do believe that there are certain behaviors that cannot go unnoticed by the media.

Nelson's first argument is that the governments of the nations whose personifications are receiving negative responses are not facing the same responses. This is true, but that is only because they already have in the past. Some countries are still suffering from limits on military (take Japan, whose only military is for defense, a result of WWII) and many more are suffering sanctions, or worse. Not only that, but NPs have partaken in the same activities that soldiers have and soldiers were punished for. The leaders of the Nazi Party were sentenced and killed after WWII while Ludwig Beilschmidt, who has openly admitted to participating just as much as those men, gets to walk free.

(And while one must concede the fact that NPs do not get much say in the choices of their leaders, the idea that they feel the pain of their people is a claim, not a fact.)

It should also be noted that the idea of feeling grief makes crimes against humanity excusable is ridiculous. People have been sentenced over twenty years in prison for vehicular manslaughter when the incident was an accident and the prosecuted felt strong remorse for the situation. Yet Nelson has thrown all common sense out the window in his article and ignored this obvious fact.

While NPs obviously should not be imprisoned, nor should any such drastic measures take...  Read More 

**Comments** :

 **Lydia Rigsby** : Damn this woman is salty af

 **Sangwon Kim** : I mean this article is pretty heavily biased too but it's also so well written (and this is coming from a strong NP defendant) so I'm just wondering what my stance is now…

 **Gabriel Tran** : I'm confused because the media hasn't been ignoring the things NPs have done in the past. If anything, they've been paying way more attention to it than anything.

 **Patricia Yos** : /Gabriel Tran/ yeah but it's been dying down A LOT and it's like the media's totally cool with it now. I can see why Biancardi is bothered.

* * *

 **Bao Nguyen** (bnguyen_2)

brb moving to Seychelles bc have you SEEN the NP?

 **Irene :3** (irenemora1es)

@bnguyen_2 lol same except w/ denmark

 **성햬준** (girlsgen_fan)

S KOREA CONFIRMS HE IS AN EXO FANBOY THIS JUST MADE MY DAY

 **Gilbert** (gilprussia)

waiting for someone to make me my own fanclub

 **Kickass Eliza** (elizaedelvary)

@gilprussia tbh I'm surprised no one has murdered you yet, considering your total lack of ability to not be a conceited ass

 **Roderich Edelstein (** stolzosterreich)

have I mentioned today that I love @elizaedelvary because I really, really do.

 **singapura** (thefinecountry)

*sees the drama all over the world* *revels in my low crime rate*

 **Leon Wang** (hkisthebest)

all my relatives are filled with bullshit

 **Mei-Mei** (taiwanmxiao)

@hkisthebest chill

* * *

It was always strange to have people recognize you every time you left your house.

China realized this when he went out in the afternoon to go buy groceries. He came across a small girl who looked no older than ten, maybe eleven. She stared at him with blatant curiosity. He was used to it by then- not only did everyone know who he was, but his old fashioned clothes and long hair made him stand out.

To his surprise, she gave him a hug. "Xièxiè," the girl said, once she let go. China was at a loss for words until the girl's mother ran towards them and took the girl by her hand.

"I am so sorry for Lan," she said, after bowing deeply. "No manners whatsoever."

China smiled. "Don't worry about it," he assured her. "It was a kind gesture, and quite welcome."

"No, really, it was rude," replied the mother. She smiled warmly at him anyway, and lead Lan elsewhere. China waved to Lan, who grinned widely and waved back.

Maybe it was always strange to have people recognize you every time you left your house, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

* * *

"I now take you to Dilan, with news from Somalia."

"Thank you for the introduction, Ocampo. It appears that after a week and a half of being missing, the Somalia NP, or Hibaaq Gullét, has just been located. She was found in northern Wisil, and is currently hospitalized for moderate to severe injuries, although the Somali government refuses to release any more information. There is no group that is suspect at the moment, but the government is allegedly doing their best to find out who is responsible.

"There has also been a small rally in Mogadishu early this morning, organized by the people and attended by 20,000. The purpose of this rally was to show their support, and lasted well over two hours.

"President Mohamoud is scheduled for a press conference tomorrow afternoon as well, where he will most likely elaborate further on how he plans to find whoever is responsible, the repercussions they will face, and the state of the NP.

"And we look forward to hearing about that. Now, back to local news. A North Korean cargo ship was just inspected by a port near-"

* * *

 **ALFRED JONES** (alfrdthehero)

YES SOMEONE WROTE THE ME/CAP FANFIC THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER

 **George in GA** (thegshapiro)

my reaction to americas last tweet: is this why god doesnt talk to us anymore

 **Clintasha** (hiimchunhua_)

Did anyone else see India's speech last night because holy shit it was so good

 **Arthur Kirkland** (arthrkrkland)

Will people stop commenting on my fucking eyebrows?

 **Francis Bonnefoy** (frbonnefoy)

@arthrkrkland 's last tweet has restored my faith in humanity. i love you all~

 **Arthur Kirkland** (arthrkrkland)

Anyone have tips on how to murder a frog? Asking for a friend.

 **ITALY!** (nordvargas)

aw just woke up to some really nice tweets! is it bad i'm sort of enjoying the attention?

 **Im Yong Soo** (originofevrything)

Apparently you can't use "I'm Korea" as an excuse to cut lines in Lotte World #TheStruggle

 **Mei-Mei** (taiwanmxiao)

Apparently you can't use "He's a total brat" as an excuse to murder your bf #TheStruggle

 **Im Yong Soo** (originofevrything)

@taiwanmxiao FIGHT ME YOU BASTARD

 **Mei-Mei** (taiwanmxiao)

@originofevrything awww babe i love it when you use pet names <3

* * *

**Velazques Speaks On NPs**

By: Idoya Olmos

Ever since the release of information regarding anthropomorphic personifications of nations, or Nation-Personifications, several people have voiced their opinions on the issue. Ms. Paulina Velazquez is possibly one of the more prominent of these people, having written several essays and articles in support of Nation-Personifications in the past couple of months.

She has also given several public speeches (click here for more) and is a former worker for the Spanish government, and is thus relatively close to the Spanish NP, Antonio Fernandez.

When asked about why she was such a firm believer of the good of Nation-Personifications, she replied, "I am not saying [the Nation-Personifications] are without fault, but they are not intrinsically evil, racist, violent, or any other claim. They simply embody what we wish to ignore, and that is the reality of human nature."

One statement that she is known to repeat is that we are virtually powerless to do anything about the situation. That as people, we cannot undo the Nation-Personifications' existence, and any attempt to do so is simply foolish. Instead, we must adapt.

"Think about all the good that can come out of this situation," Ms. Velazquez urged in her recent interview on 24 Horas.

Of course, Ms. Velazquez is certainly not the first to have such opinions, nor is she the last. In fact, more people have been rising up in support of Nation-Personifications against attacks through the media, and fewer have been making attempts to attack them (whether physically or verbally).

Yet another promising event is the fact that Hibaaq Gullét (Somalia) has been located and is now in a secure location.

* * *

China was actually enjoying the attention. This was a shock to him, as it was definitely a first. He couldn't deny, however, that he appreciated his people's respect.

He smiled as a college student from Beijing snapped a photograph of the two of them with his smartphone.

"Thank you for your time," said the boy happily.

"It's no trouble," China responded. It really wasn't.

Honestly, the people's knowledge of him came with a lot of benefits. Some would let him cut their place in line, others would give him insane discounts, and many stopped him in the street to say hello or thank you. (It was then that China appreciated the prevalent patriotism in his country.)

Things were looking up a lot. South Korea was happy. Taiwan and Hong Kong, as bratty as they were, had ceased their complaining and were thoroughly enjoying themselves. Vietnam was doing well, as was Thailand. All in all, the worst of it seemed to be over.

Perhaps China might even get the chance to relax, for once.

* * *

 **ALFRED JONES** (alfrdthehero)

GOT MY FIRST PEACEFUL SLEEP IN 93235 YEARS FINALLY

 **Arthur Kirkland** (arthrkrkland)

You're barely 300 years old, please shut up. @alfrdthehero

 **ALFRED JONES** (alfrdthehero)

@arthrkrkland furthering my belief that old people just can't have a sense of humor

 **Leon Wang** (hkisthebest)

@alfrdthehero yeah but remember when we actually had to live with him

 **ALFRED JONES** (alfrdthehero)

@hkisthebest OMG it was horrible his cooking made me want to die

 **Jett Kirkland** (aussielove)

@alfrdthehero at least you and most others had Francis to nullify the pain. I HAD NO ONE

 **Seychelles** (fisharefriends)

@alfrdthehero @hkisthebest @aussielove WE NEED TO GET #colonyproblems TRENDING NOW

 **Arthur Kirkland** (arthrkrkland)

These absolute bastards have no respect.

 **Antonio Fernandez Carriedo** (victoriosoespana)

@arthrkrkland I don't think that many of us have much respect for you. Fear of your eyebrows and cooking, maybe, but not respect lol

 **Arthur Kirkland** (arthrkrland)

@victoriosoespana can't hear you over the sound of your arMADA SINKING YOU F UCKING ARSE

 **Mei-Mei** (taiwanmxiao)

The fact that so much drama was a result of a tweet about a nap makes me love social media.

* * *

**KIM JI HYUN TO RELEASE BOOK**

**By Kwang Eun Bae, Editor in Chief**

Ji Hyun Kim, former professor at Seoul National University and a historian famous for her essays regarding East Asia, has discovered several records that have the potential to reveal more information on Nation Personifications during her time studying the early 1900's alongside scholar Jung Nam Lee. She is currently in the process of writing a book (title yet to be announced) about the presence of Nation Personifications throughout history, which will either debunk or confirm numerous claims and theories. She has already published some of the information to the public.

While critics have said that there is a possibility some of these connections are simply coincidences, many seem to be convinced of their truthfulness.

The first published piece was a document from World War Two. This Soviet document described the Baltic Offense. In it, "Ivan B" is described. This reference was long believed to be Ivan Bagramyan, a Marshal of the Soviet Union, but later in the document, the surname "Braginsky" is mentioned. This has lead to Kim being convinced that this report holds information of Russia's Nation Personification.

In addition, with the publications of the journal entries of King Edward VII (with accompanying photographs for display at the Palace of Holyroodhouse in Edinburgh) reveals the Nation Personifications of Greece and Lebanon. The journal entries, written when King Edward was twenty years old, describes the both of them in immaculate detail. The fact that the name "Alima Mansour" was written numerous times in regards to a "girl looking about 20, dressed in elegant clothes and sitting at the side of the General" has made this connection undeniable, as it is the name of the Lebanese Nation Personification.

In fact, King Edward VII has reportedly become one of the major sources of information in Kim's book. Having visited France- a visit that helped create the atmosphere of which the Entente Cordiale was made possible by- he was related to many Continental Sovereigns. This means that multiple logs of his journal contains a plethora of information on Nation Personifications.

As the majority of historians know, he travelled with the photographer Francis Bedford, but in a later photo ( of which the caption, "Francis B. at Calais, 7am", was long thought to refer to the photographer and not the subject) is believed to be of the Nation Personification of France, as the appearance fits him fairly well despite having poor quality. 

The date of this entry is actually the day of the signing of the Entente Cordiale, furthering Kim's belief. (It had been found out that Arthur Kirkland, Nation Personification of England and Representative of the United Kingdom, was not mentioned at all in any of his entries, however.)

Another curious entry the former King has written is a mention of a white haired man that was present at the wedding Princess Victoria, his sister, and Prince Henry of Prussia. The Prussian (now Eastern Germany) Nation Personification, it should be noted, is easily recognizable for his albino coloring.

King Edward VII wrote (note that the following is paraphrased for better understanding) "the man sat near the front of the ceremony, and was not familiar to me. Yet none seemed to question his being there, and I was too busy watching my sister being wed to care for his presence. After the ceremony, the man introduced himself as Gilbert."

Kim has also interviewed Yong Soo Im, Nation Personification of South Korea, on the Korean War and Korea's earlier history, specifically the Three Kingdoms of Korea. As one ought to know, it was one of the longest sustained dynasties in the world, and Yong Soo has admitted to being the former Nation Personification of Silla in a press conference last month. 

While Yong Soo refused to go into detail when he was interviewed by Seo Jung Park several days ago, he has made it clear that Kim's book "will be a reliable source and go extraordinarily in depth". He testified to Kim's determination to preserve the truth. 

Kim Ji Hyun has promised her book be published by November 22 this year, and that she has gone and will go through painstaking efforts to keep it as informative, interesting, and historically accurate as possible.

* * *

 **Im Yong Soo** (originofevrything)

IM GOING TO MEET YOO JAESUK IN PERSON THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

 **Honda Kiku** (risingsunhonda)

@originofevrything I know you're excited but please refrain from calling me sixty one times. I'm in the middle of a private meeting.

 **Im Yong Soo** (originofevrything)

YOO JAESUK IS MY IDOL AND I AM GOING TO MEET HIM OMG I KNEW THIS NATION THING HAD ITS PERKS

 **Leon Wang** (hkisthebest)

putting 'south korea' as # 1 on my list of reasons why I actually MISS being england's colony...

 **Im Yong Soo** (originofevrything)

tbh the entire world could end in a few days and i wouldn't care bECAUSE I GET TO MEET YOO JAESUK YES YES YES YES

 **Nalin** (bharatganarajya)

Sometimes I get annoyed ppl don't consider me a "real Asian country" but then I'm like well at least they won't group me in w/ SOME PEOPLE *cough* korea *cough*

 **singapura** (thefinecountry)

@originofevrything if you were my citizen I'd fine you fOR THE FREAKING NOISE I CAN HEAR YOU FROM 2900 MILES AWAY

 **ALFRED JONES** (alfrdthehero)

@originofeverything gets to meet whatshisname and I cant meet MY celebs? what is this injustice?

 **ALFRED JONES** (alfrdthehero)

@beyonce HMU BAE IF KOREA CAN MEET YOO JAESUK I CAN MEET MY CELEBRITY CRUSH

 **ALFRED JONES** (alfrdthehero)

@chrisevans you too #capxusa #soulmates 

 **Mei-Mei** (taiwanmxiao)

Everyone being 100% done with @originofevrything is my new aesthetic

**loviNO (thebettervargas)**

@alfrdthehero wtf is wrong w you

* * *

**Accord Settles Personification Issue**

**By: Taaliba Palyama, Featured Columnist**

For the past three days, Committee Four of the General Assembly has been meeting to come up with a resolution for the recent upsets over NPs. They produced a set of accords to satisfy those upset over the NPs and prevent any future problems that may arise. The Accords determined that NPs’ influence will not cause major effects on national conduct; they will be given a level of security when in foreign nations; any action against an NP will be viewed as either treason, an act of war, or terrorism; they are subject to the same laws that all other humans are from this point forward; and that all NP actions will be open to scrutinization. UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon has stated that he believes this will help countries to “become more stable, ensuring the protection of nation personifications and citizen satisfaction”.

NPs will be viewed as a reflection on their respective country’s people and will play a more public role from now on. As stated by Trần Đại Quang (President of Vietnam), “many view [nation personifications] as a reflection of the people, so they should bear the responsibility of such a position.” Concerning World Meetings (which are an assembly of all available NPs to discuss topics approved by the UN), the UN has decided that the meetings will continue in its previous fashion. The NPs still won’t have the ability to implement their own regulations but their final decision will be taken into account in official UN meetings. The UN rules regarding reporters, journalists, and other non-members also apply for World Meetings.

The idea of a new board concerning NPs has also been shut down but the central governments of each country has the ability to restrain their personification’s interactions with media, the general public, and other personifications. No government has placed restrictions yet. Instead, most NPs have been given a surprising amount of freedom and have the ability to decide on whether or not they would like to be featured in press conferences and so on. Some people have asked if they will appear in public events (such as the Olympics, Eurovision, and so on). The answer to those questions have not been included in the accords, but it can be inferred that this is also up to NPs.

The majority of people see these accords as a successful way to limit NPs and put an end to the majority of controversies that have arisen with the leaks. While some argue that it is too lax, the general consensus is that these accords will put an end to the whole affair.

A full copy of the newly published accords can be seen  here .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Xièxiè- Thank you  
> References: Singapore is called the 'fine country' because you can be fined for just about everything and thus has a very low crime rate, North Korean cargo ship inspected in Philippines port, Lotte World is a South Korean amusement park (and the greatest place on Earth), 24 Horas is a news station in Spain, chao fan is chinese for fried rice, and all the references are accurate if you take out the APH characters. Yoo Jae Suk is also one of the most famous Korean celebrities and though I have no idea why Korea would be meeting him, I knew it had to happen.  
> Comments and kudos make my day, so (of course) all feedback is appreciated!


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